I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
