Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
