My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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