Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
