WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
