Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
