I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
