white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
