he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
