Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
this will be a night to untag.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
