can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
