Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize