what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
