Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
