Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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