just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
