last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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