So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
