New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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