Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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