Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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