big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
