the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
