How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
