just come out here and I will go home with you...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
