He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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