i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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