pedialite and red bull = repair kit
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
as a side note pls kill me
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
