In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
