Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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