I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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