new low.... made out with someone while peeing
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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