Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Someone shattered a urinal.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
