I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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