The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
