Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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