No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
