yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize