I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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