What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
