how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
