porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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