I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
