I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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