i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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