I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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