She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
