Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
bring money and cleavage
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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