Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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