Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
