just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Walk of Shame today included voting.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
