Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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