Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
