Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
