is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
