No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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