just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
