Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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