you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I am available for nakedness
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
