my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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