Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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