my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
